Week of
May 29th, 2002
We continue searching for Thomas and Friends, and Brio railroad items. What started out as a lark has become a hobby for Scott and I. Scott in particular has become totally engrossed in finding good deals online, and searching for discontinued items. We've collected a number of items, and at this rate, Owen (and Scott) will be set for presents for years to come. We realize they're partly (mostly?) for us -- but my fear that Owen will be indifferent to the trains seems to be contradicted by his enthusiasm at the Barnes & Noble track layout. Owen's thrilled with it. He realizes the trains go on the track, but still tends to mouth them or toss them when he gets bored. Still, we're hopeful.
It's a great pleasure to see Scott so captivated by the fanciful world of Thomas. I've seen glimpses of the whimsical, childlike side of him before, but Owen brings it out everyday. (Watching him read Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs! to Owen's delight is a wonderful part of each day.) With the trains, part of Scott is looking to experience fully something he would have loved when he was little. A larger part wants to share it with Owen and give him something that will make him happy. We wrestle with projecting our own needs and fantasies on to Owen, I hope we manage to limit our expectations so that we can enjoy Owen as he is, and not as we wish him to be. Or is that just another fantasy? Can any parent manage to do this? Afer all, part of our role is to help guide him to be the best person he can be -- we'll inevitably have expectations. I guess I just want to accept his quirks and differences. Or try to. And I hope I remember that our expecations, and how he really is, can't/shouldn't always meet. If I don't leave room for him to be who he is, I may miss some of the best, most essential parts of him.
Of course, I'm a little starry-eyed with Owen. At this point, it's all about discovering who he is and watching his world unfurl. He's sweet and open and captivating. A time will come when he's defiant and contradictory and challenging -- after all, he has to figure out who he is, and how he's different than we are. He has to test his boundaries and our limits. An inevitable process, but it doesn't sound easy. I guess when we're facing more ups and downs I can make a more accurate assessment of how my hopes measure up with reality.
Things I hope Owen gets: empathy, a loving nature, personal versatility and flexibility (I could be better), the ability to entertain himself (which I lack), the ability to combine a mathematical and verbal nature (assuming he straddles the middle as Scott and I do), the ability to form deep, close relationships, and lastly, I hope he's able to find some happiness in life. The last item I wish for everyone I love, and although it sounds simlple, it's one of the more elusive goals one can zap someone with. Although I wish for him a lifetime of happiness, I'll settle for a modest, maintanable portion. :-)
Oh, in foods this week, we managed to get him to eat some Sweet Potato. It was disguised in a Sweet Potato& Pork Stew, but it felt like a victory, getting him to overcome the "I'm not eating that, it's orange" phase.
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