Week of June 9, 2004

“Little bird, where are you going”
“you’re in time out, little bird/grumpy frog”
“it’s just horses” (there was a picture in Owen’s room of medieval knights on horseback, that we’ve no replaced with a soothing Monet)

“Oh no, the stationmaster’s house” (Thomas crashes into it) “Now I’ll have to make some more” (breakfast)

“Triceratops”
“Stegosaurus”
“T-rex”
“I want dinosaur vitamin”
“I want to see baby pictures”
“I cooking donuts. Glazed. Chocolate. Jelly!”
“small present”
“no, you don’t sing Mummy”
“Okey dokey, artichokey”
“I have goopy nose. I need wipe.”
“I want scrambled eggs at home. I want here.”
“Good night, little chick.”

(putting himself in his crib, pretending to go to bed.) “Go! Shut the door!”

(trying to pick up his balls) “You not allowed to do that. Don’t take balls!”

We had a quiet weekend. Well, half of it was quite. Saturday we had a playdate. At the town fair, I heard that fateful question “Did you go to Amherst High?” From a person I once knew (and liked), a zillion years ago, but who had disappeared into her life when she graduated the year before I did. She was a close acquaintance – someone who I had taken to Elsie’s, but who did not stay in my life beyond High School (Theater Company, Algebra II). She has two sons, one 14 months and one just 3 weeks younger than Owen. We made a playdate and I ventured to her house. It’s a large house, newly purchased and exceedingly childfriendly. Her husband is a Stay at home, she supports them as a Psychiatrist.

Owen hasn’t had many playdates. We assume he’s socializing at daycare, and Scott and I like to spend our free time WITH Owen. And you know, we’re not exactly minglers. Owen and the younger boy got on well, as much as you can interact with a 14 month old. The other child his age was a bit suspicious of Owen, as well he might be. Who is this stranger coming to our house and playing with my stuff? Only the last 5 minutes did they start to chase each other and laugh.

It’s a very strange dynamic, relating through kids. Do you feel exposed if they don’t interact at all, or interact well? Do kids like each other right away, or build into it? Does it change every visit? Do I feel on edge of Owen isn’t warm and social and welcoming? What am I supposed to do while he’s playing?

Immediately after this visit, at the park, we ran into a Professor in my department with his daughter who is 9 months younger than Owen. Clearly, she liked Owen and Owen was a little indifferent. He played a bit, but then was off and running. Again, I felt exposed and weird about this, as though part of me was wishing Owen could do what I wanted just to make other people feel at ease. Of course, I’m powerless over this sort of thing. Which is as it should be, these are Owen’s choices. But already, I can tell I don’t like this part of the parent thing! Some people excel at socializing, I feel like with each year, any ability I ever had to be social is leaching away, along with my memory!

Sunday we were able to just hang out as a family. It was a nice day, lots of park action and a stroller ride, a pumpkin cookie and the fountain. And most importantly, extra coffee for me. I find myself more addicted to coffee than I ever have been, although I rarely drink more than 1 to 2 cups.

Scott was unable to bear Owen’s long hair anymore and bravely ventured to “trim his bangs”. It was a bit tense, and became more involved than that, but in the end Scott did an excellent job and Owen ahs a cooler hairstyle. I wasn’t initially prepared for the change, but I think it was all for the best. We’ve also been working on getting Owen into his sandals. After a battle, he’s wearing them with socks. Bare feet will be next if we can do it, and then maybe…shorts. That’s how the baby pictures got pulled out (in part) – I wanted to show Owen how much he loved the cooler outfits last summer. “See, you’re wearing sandals and shorts! You loved them so much, that’s all you wore!”

One thing I want to do this week is get together some photos to make some mini-photo albums for Owen to have handy. Filled with his evolution, and people he knows and loves. I figure if nothing else, it will keep some family faces fresh in his mind. We’ve been going through those “baby pictures!” over and over again. The first few times I think he was having fun looking at himself, but then he moved on to picking out different items that have touched his life: toys we no longer have, things that have been tucked away as he’s moved onward. He can spot every single thing we’ve snuck out of his life, and through longing in his voice for good measure. Scott and I will make eye contact and think “Oh no, he’s fixated on the Thomas toy the cat peed on and we couldn’t de-stink!”). He also likes to pick out people we knows, and he’s been enjoying reliving happy experiences (“There’s a slug! Look, it’s a merry-go-round!”). “Birthday cake!”

• Owen is getting good at identifying colors. We have a set of stacking rings, and he took a batch of magnet clips I had and sorted them into the rings by color
• He is doing a lot more singing, “Twinkle, Twinkle” and “Rock a bye baby” and once I heard him singing “Old Macdonald”
• He’s been looking at the books of photos we have of him, paying special attention to the objects in the pictures. He noticed one thing (a Pinocchio funnel) and asked “what’s that?” – I told him and then it was “let’s go get it!” and off he ran to the kitchen where he knew it was hanging. Spotting the goldfish, “I want goldfish. I want bowl” and then we had to put our goldfish into the funnel rather than the bowl I provided. Funnel = bowl if what you’re containing is smaller than the funnel! Much delight.

 

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