Week of July 16, 2003
"Hah. El. Wiggles."
This is the response we've been getting when we ask Owen what he wants to watch on TV. How do you figure out what he's picking with that? "Do you want black or white?" "Black. White."I notice that when we offer Owen a choice, he often opts to be silent, which I interpret as "well, you're offering me choices I have no interest in. Try to tempt me with something else." I remember reading in various books, that toddlers like to be in control, and so you offer them 2 or 3 approved choices thus psyching them into believing they're actually choosing what's happening; the illusion of control for those unformed minds. That sounded like such a good idea! Owen just makes his own option, as in "neither A nor B." And if he doesn't respond in silence, often he'll torment us by replying with both of the options we've just given him. "Hah. El. Wiggles." We'll repeat what he said and again ask what he wants, and then he'll be silent. Argh!
I guess this is an example of the world not being as tidy as it's described in books. That may work for some toddlers, but not ours! Our Thomas bowl has been useless as well. In theory, pictures at the bottoms of bowls encourage your toddler to eat down to the bottom. Not ours. Why waste time like that when you can just dump the contents on to the high chair and get right to the picture? Using plain, boring bowls is the only way we can keep the food in the bowl. (Not that he's big into things in bowls. He can be quite adept with a spoon when he chooses, but he's too impatient to spend much time eating that way. He really prefers to use them for goldfish crackers.)
Owen's stubborn nature has also thwarted our attempts to move him to drinking milk out of a cup. Owen's made it clear: no bottle, no milk. It's not a pretty picture, and so far it's Owen 1, parents 0. We like to think we're just picking our battles. As in, we're picking to battle later, we can't cope with his milk strike. I can see that Owen's stubbornness matches our own, and the only real winner in that battle will be our milk bill, because we won't need much if it's never consumed. We're trusting that peer pressure will deter him from using a bottle by kindergarten, and in the meantime we're trying to ignore the disapproving stares of friends and family.
Henry and the Elephant continues to dominate Owen's imagination, but he's been willing to branch out just the tiniest bit. We've been grateful for some rotations of our Wiggles tapes and CDs. Is Owen craving music, does he want to wiggle, or is he just plain looking for something that's not a train? Who cares, it's not Henry and the Elephant!
He's also been enjoying reading "10 Little Ladybugs" although I swear, as you read it, it really seems that each ladybug is being eaten as you work your way down to 1 Little Ladybug. It's a lot like 10 Little Indians by Agatha Christie. The last picture with all the ladybugs and all the large bug-eating creatures is just a Hollywood ending, where everyone reappears in good shape. What frog would leave a tasty ladybug alone?
Owen's interest in bugs persists. It's natural to be fascinated with creepy crawlies (as natural as fearing them, I'm guessing!). They make Owen feel giant-sized, and you can find ants almost everywhere. I'm still recovering from Owen blithely squashing the caterpillar, so now I always catch my breath when Owen notices a bug. Will it soon be squashed, like, say, a bug? Fortunately, he's been content to watch them and squashings have been inadvertent (say, a finger pointing overzealously, or the giant shoes laying waste to the anthill as he scampers off to do something completely different).
In other fronts, Owen attended a family birthday party this past week. I thought it was going to be something relatively low-key and child-friendly, imagine my surprise when it turned out to be held at an American Legion, with a buffet and many round tables! Everyone was dressed casually, and there were other children, but I would have reconsidered attending if I'd know that was what was happening. No toddler wants to be pinned down in one place. We were glad to be there for Scott's Aunt, but I think in retrospect I should have sent Scott off to attend solo. We did spot a 2 year old and a 5 year old, at another table, and they too had brought their Thomas trains with them. It was incredibly cute - are the these the traveling companions of little boys everywhere? (I hate to make gender divisions, but it seems to be so incredibly consistent). As soon as Owen spotted them (the boys or the trains, we were uncertain) he wanted to be hanging at THAT table. He was fixated. And when we all gave up on being at the tables and let the kids frolic outside, there was a great deal of happiness. I found it comforting that the Dad with the 2 year old was often clutching an unhappy camper as well. Owen's a sweetie, but I hate being scrutinized by large groups, when he's in a setting where he's obviously unhappy. True to form, Owen is shunning the company of adults wherever possible. Only kids engage him lately, and with these, he's happy and at ease.
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