Week of April 16, 2003

Owen seems like a different boy now.

Physically, he's more like a toddler than an older baby and after last week's growth spurt, he's definitely bigger and longer. It's another round of discarded clothes and shoes that are much snugger-than-they-should-be. His expensive (for wide feet) sneakers are practically new. He's constantly working on his mobility, and he's steadily improving his gait and balance. He can often do stairs with just a light touch on our hands, and he's saved himself from a fall very skillfully many times. His tumbles are much less frequent than I would expect, though he still tends to bump his head more than any other part of him. He's amazingly good at kicking things, and he's getting better at tossing and catching a ball. For a long time we'd toss and he'd just sort of watch it hit him -- now he's getting the idea that you grab it, and he can manage if you're pretty close. He's been practicing by bouncing a ball in his arms.

Intellectually, he's blossoming. Words and ideas are coming to him constantly and he absorbs everything he sees. Of course, this is challenging because he sees everything (even a microscopic change grabs his attention now). I'm forgetting to scrupulously curb all that I say, and even an indirect mention of Thomas has Owen running over to the TV to turn it on. He hears everything and he's a sponge.

Scott and I are in awe of his abilities, and fearful. What exactly is going on in that brain? Neurons are mapping out everyday and he's constantly getting more sophisticated. There's lots of good stuff in there, but one always worries about the examples we don't want to set. Is he studying our flaws? Is he constantly wondering how to work around us, and bend us to his will like wayward pets? We have such a huge responsibility to this developing, growing mind. How do we encourage him without suppressing him, and how do we enforce limits without him going to pieces? And how do we help him be his best, when we're not entirely sure how to do that for ourselves let alone him? I guess we just try to nurture him, and bumble through together.

No wonder toddlers are subject to meltdowns - the amount of information processing they have to do is phenomenal. And while they're constantly expanding what they can do, this also means they're pushing into new areas of "No!" just as quickly. You try to give them more autonomy, but often they're pushing further than they can comfortably handle. Choice is good, but it's also stressful. They tend to get overextended very quickly, and stop coping when tired or hungry. And the fixations! How do you explain the "whys" of something ("it's too cold), when all they see is "I want to wear my beloved ladybug boots!"

We try to give him as much control over his meals as we can. We offer him 4-5 choices of items at a meal, with maybe 1 "iffy" thing, a safe thing, and the rest fruit or veggies. We can never predict what he'll love or reject, so we just keep offering him choices. He's very adamant that we give him a variety of options, and even a favorite food gets rejected after being presented a couple of times in a row. And he may reject something 4-5 times and then devour it. He's good about at least trying new things, so the system seems to be working. And he'll often pick out fruit or vegetables for snacking over something more junky or enticing. We picked up some Indian food for an anniversary, and we were so excited when Owen happily ate some pieces of potato, some samosas, and some Naan. I'd make a particularly spicy curried potato dish and that was something he started munching on half way through the week, to my surprise.

He has some favorite items of clothing - he loves his ladybug boots, and also his red and purple jackets. It's so funny to see him express clear preferences, hugging his jacket or his cat pajamas. Of course his preferences are not so funny when the PJ's are dirty, it's too cold to wear his rainboots or his light jacket, or when he refuses to wear his mittens, etc. Tearful meltdowns are stressful for all of us, but we assume he has to go through this as he learns life doesn't always go his way. It's hard not to laugh to ourselves when we see him go from profound tears to smiles in a heartbeat, when something goes his way.

The books at night have to be things he hasn't seen recently (although he has a few favorites). He caught on to the books that we used to wrap up reading and started to refuse to read them. Thomas books are usually a hit, or books with bunnies, or that have Scott and I singing. He loves Teddy Bear and the Petting Zoo. And Is Your Mama a Llama was a consistent hit for a while too.

Every day brings new words, though he generally just uses the first syllable for words (except for "kitty cat" of course). He recently picked up a duplo block and uttered "purp" and of course it WAS purple. That seems to be one of his favorite colors, and we've been telling him his big rubber ball is purple. He seems to have figured out that it's a color, although no other has been at all interesting to him.

Words he's been using lately:

Hel(p), Ja(mes), Tho(mas), Har(old), Pa (Panda), Da (Dog), Hor(se), Ba(nana), Ap(ple), Kittycat, Hot, Hat, Bat, Boot, Boo! (when hiding), Moo, Moon, More, Mine, Up, Dow(n), Rock, Roll, Col(d) Iwantthat, Ineedthat, Pret(zel), Crack(er), Ear, Eye, ball, bal(loon), Pur(ple), Squir(ell), El(ephant), Tee(th), Hair, Tail, Egg

He's able to do a lot of animals, but often they get called by the sound they make.
Train = choo choo
Bird = a tweet tweet noise
Lion = roar
Elephant = Owen imitating Scott's and my really bad imitation of an elephant. This is is very cute! There's hand waving near the nose and everything.
Camel = a spitting noise
Sheep = Bah
Rooster = Doo (Cockadoodledoo)
Snake = sssssss

As part of Owen's imitations, now when he makes loud noises outside, he immediately puts his finger up to his mouth, imitating my shooshing him. How humbling to see myself imitated, and what a devious little guy to choose that particular gesture! Scott couldn't stop laughing. (Yeah, I have sound issues, inherited from my mother.)

As much as having a toddler is a challenge, I'm also amazed by how helpful Owen can be, and anxious to please. If he hears the dishwasher open, he's quick to run to the kitchen to shut the door (and he tries to turn it on, since he knows the buttons and the order they go in!). He mimics us cleaning his highchair tray. He often will try to help us get his clothing off, and he'll also put his hand in his sleeves or hold out a foot for us to put on a sock or shoe. When he's feeling particularly helpful, he'll even hold his hands out for mittens. He holds out his milk bottle and asks for "more" and when he gets into trouble, he'll often call out "hel(p)" and fetch us over. I find it so sweet when he intervenes when the cats are fighting. I think he's more aware of what he should be doing when we remind him to stay on the sidewalk, and based on the guilty/delighted grin I see, he's very aware when he's on grass that he should be avoiding, or straying toward parking lots. He's tried to comb the kitty, and has tried to brush my hair too. And it's very cute when he tries to get the clip to stick in my hair, or touches an earring gently as he studies the day's jewelry. I've been wearing long earrings again, because I pretty much trust him.

How do toddlers manage to combine the best and worst of people? The same little guy who can bite me when he wants attention or to play, can also be the gentlest, most loving creature in the world.

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