Monica Messer

Lab Technician

For those of you who are interested in the sciences but are afraid your dyslexia and ADD will prevent you from being a PHD, fear not! As long as you can compensate by being totally obsessive you have a promising career as a lab tech. A couple of tips to ensure your success:

Must make a to-do list, complete with box to check off
Recognize, compare and exceed other obsessive behavior
Color code EVERYTHING
Create data sheets and labels for everything! (also color coded)
Know all the integral eateries on and off campus (have a stash of menus at all times)
No consumption or disposal of bananas in the lab - NO EXCEPTIONS !
Be sure everybody knows you are Lab tech NOT Lab MOM – this is best illustrated by having at least one witness as you "dispose" of misplaced items.
Most important, NEVER give away all your secrets (thus becoming irreplaceable)

Be forewarned, it is not a career for the faint of heart. There are often unavoidable crises that will land on you. For instance, the escape of ravenous herbivores, putrifed samples due to equipment failure, and of course the 24-hour Mono bug in the height of field season. All and all, as long as you have a beautiful lab with lots of windows, and a great work crew, and most of all a PI who travels a lot, you can also discover one of the best kept career secrets. :-)