Common problems with the first paper:

Most papers fell into one of three categories:
1) The paper was essentially a summary of some part of the article or some additional reading.  
The author did not use this information as support for any sort of argument.
2) The paper consisted of the author's ideas, and there was no evidence supporting these claims.
3) The paper mentioned the author's ideas, and mentioned evidence from the reading or outside 
sources, but failed to show in a coherent way how the evidence supported the ideas.

Other things to keep in mind:
There should be a logical flow to the paper.  Each sentence should follow from the previous 
one in a logical way. It should be clear what new, insightful claims the author is making, 
and how evidence from the reading or other sources supports these claims.  Use the introduction 
as a chance to provide the reader with a road map to the argument.  
Use the conclusion as a chance to reiterate not only the main thesis, but also why it makes sense.

Try to always follow words like "this", "these", "some", etc. with a noun.   When using pronouns
like "it", "them", etc., make sure that the intended referent is entirely clear to the reader.

There were many problems with word usage.  Don't use a word if you don't know what it means.  Avoid thesauri.

Keep the tone appropriately formal.

Avoid passive voice.

All quotations should be cited.

Proofread for grammar and spelling.